Sunday, 6 March 2011

The Midge ( sweet revenge )

As the early morning sun rose across the glen i smiled as i knew today was going to be one of those long lazy summer days.
As i turned to head back to the bus a familiar noise stopped me in my tracks
The constant buzz that could only be a midge the sound that over the years has sent people packing vowing never to return ..

I looked down at my arm and aye there he was dagger already unsheathed and dug deep into my arm his belly filling with my blood

I watched as he pulled back ready to set off and find a wee cosy spot by the river to savour his meal.
Then our eyes met and that look of smugness crept across his face knowing he was part of the mighty midge hoard and no one but one takes them on .
I was about to agree and retreat, with the pain still racking my body from that first summer bite
when i noticed his expression change at first confused i soon realised that he was the only ONE..

laden doon with my blood he buzzed and whined his way into the air , i watched as he turned and headed to the burn
oh no you don’t you wee shite ..

with flip flops flapping hat a spilling i set off in search of my revenge
over the heather and across the river i chased him,
all my army training coming to the fore
flip flops dragged from my feet in the thick mud i cared not a jot . onward determined that this was one wee battle i would win.
know matter which way he turned the fat old hermit was close at heal
stopping but once to roll a fag..
up the side of the steep rocky ben i followed him till at last and with my last breathe i collapsed next to him sitting on a rock

we once again we traded looks the dark shadow of defeat etched across his face i leaned forward and
picking him up i gently squeezed till my blood eventually dribbled from him into my mouth…

and whispering into his ear “now bugger off and get your own food “
i turned exhausted but Happy.

peace and light



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Andy the Daft Hermit lives 45 minutes outside Inverness with his wife Mel in an old bus parked in a layby. This current home of theirs is the longest they have ever stayed in one spot. “I’ve been travelling now 25 years,” said Andy Lowe. “Mel’s been travelling 15. One of the reasons we’ve come and stayed up here is because of Mel’s health. I wanted to bring her to the mountains for fresh air and clean water and just a slower pace of life.” Mel has had breast cancer twice, skin cancer once, and for three years believed she had bone cancer after being wrongly diagnosed. Andy’s belief in the restorative powers of the north made them pack up ‘The Black Bus’ that they live in and cross the border into Scotland. New Highland home for hermit couple Andy and Mel “I think we both believe in trying to get to a more simple way of life,” said Andy, “but it’s strange for us because we are sort of hermits, or we like to live separate, but it’s not being anti-social… it’s just the way we are that allows us to be creative.” Andy first began travelling when he left the army. Fed up with bureaucracy he packed a rucksack and left for France and has been travelling ever since. By investing any money the couple have earned into solar panels and wind generators they now live a self-sustaining existence, without electric bills, and collect rain water “straight from Heaven”. “It’s not easy,” said Mel. “There might be time when there might not be enough facilities around, but you always find a way, you know?” Rather than rejecting technology, Andy blogs about his travels online and collaborates with artists from around the world via his ‘Scratchy Heid Film Studio’, which he runs from a static trailer next to the couple’s bus. He explained his philosophy: “My belief is that if you can go through life and you drop dead and you’ve got a balance there that slightly outweighs the good than the bad, you’ve done alright. “Yesterday, with what Mel’s been through with the cancer and all that, I had a woman on one of my sites there that thanked me for the writing, for the positive things, and to me that’s worth everything. You can keep your millions, we’re not interested. That is what we do.” To check out Andy’s artwork and video projects check out his website. MORE FROM THE NORTH

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