After a couple o magical weeks bimbling , visiting old and new stepping stones .
the time was nearing , and the pressure began. when we would both have tae face the wall. o NO.
as always ,i had enough spare meds for Mel for 4 days. having had to take over the meds for the last few years. ( even though we had had to both put up wae crap for me doing that ).
Anyway that night we headed too Lochinver , feeling not too worried as Mel had been registered at the surgery before , so they had a rough idea what Mel had and was going through.
we spent the night doon at the harbour , where over the years we had weighed in oor winkles and enjoyed watching the comings and goings o the many boats.
In the morning we woke and made our way roon tae the carpark opposite the surgery . ready to make the call. Mel though said she couldn’t cope and could we please just go. talking wae her , i could she her starting too really stress oot , so firing Molly up we drove tae a couple o miles oot o Lochinver along the road tae Drumbeg , stopping at Clasnessie another o oor stepping stones , as always the journey calmed Mel doon and as always we travelled slowly Mel finding it hard , but for the next couple o days we hugged and remembered the many many oors working and walking the beaches, the wee smile returned. but i knew in a couple o days we would have tae face that wall o NO.
pulling back intae Lochinver . ( the last o the meds having gone that morning, i wasn’t worried as i knew Mel would get the help needed . that simple wee back o drugs . to help wae the pain .)
Mel made the call……
sitting looking out o the window , i could hear Mel getting more and more upset.
she had explained that she was now bedbound and was unable to come intae the surgery and would it be at all possible for Andy to come across. and get the meds.
every question met wae, NO, NO
eventually afeter a couple o calls by which time Mel was crying and so angry , it was agreed the doctor would call over to us in the carpark after her appointments.
( the receptionist had told Mel the doctor says you should go to Ullapool and that they could NOT issues any meds , )
Mel , had explained she couldn’t cope wae the journey , and had run oot o meds..
listening tae what had been said i was fumming and said i would go over, but Mel begged me not too. we had asked loads o times if it was possible for me to collect mels meds and had always been told NO , right up tae her death the answer was NO..
we sat and hugged and eventually calmed doon , ready for the visit when a nurse we both knew chapped the door. happily i opened it and invited her in..
Right from the start we both looked at each another, shocked as the nurse simply ignored us and piled on the pressure and upset.
having a go at me for running oot o meds, even though we explained again and again that i had always kept a 4 day reserve but this time Mel had paniced etc
telling us we weren’t listening , as she asked over and over if she could do anything too help, oor answer aye MEDS.. met with a stare.
behind her i could see Mel fuming as she tried tae sit up and ready tae whack the nurse. the nurse left and we just sat there in total silence shocked at what was happening all the while Mel getting more and more stressed..
The last place i expected too have any trouble getting a hold o the meds was Lochinver .
a couple o oors passed and the doctor called over ..
Sitting bolt upright in bed Mel explained the whole thing too the doctor , about coming a few days earlier etc etc . when she wa finished . the doctor simply said she could not get the meds, and that we would have to go too Ullapool for them. going on tae say we had NOT been tae see Ullapool for some time. we were told we were getting peoples backs up bye simply wandering around the place.
Mel crying said “i am dying and my husband is taking me tae places and visiting people before i die.”
Still the answer was no , no, no..
being told Lochinver was a small practise and couldn’t give out the meds.
Mel stopped talking and turned her back and was crying as i begged and begged for at least a few days meds enough for us too head off. in the end she relented and agreed too a weeks worth and left..
i went over and collected the meds and we headed oot o Lochinver getting tae a wee stepping stone were i was able tae calm ma wee warrior doon again. the energy drained yet again as if dealing wae cancer and the coming deaath was NOT enough tae cope wae. we had a couple o days were once again we hugged and started tae enjoy the time left.
then as the week neared its end . it was time too visit Ullapoll. where what had just happened would be overshadowed . what followed will live with me till the day i too die and go off to be wae ma wee warrior.
THAT FUCKING WALL O NO NO NO ..